When Rest Feels Selfish

 

Today's episode is called What to do when rest feels selfish.

This is the third in our series on how to set Christ like boundaries without feeling guilty.

We must understand foundational principles about Jesus Christ and who he was and how he showed up so that we can be more like him.

One of the things that Jesus was really good at was setting boundaries.

And so today we're going to talk about another one of those foundational principles.

We believe that it's selfish to rest. We feel like we have to prove ourselves and earn love by working all the time.

We feel safer when we're being overly responsible and overworking and busy all the time because it gives us a sense of feeling in control.

And we have the sense of I need to earn rest.

So when we have those beliefs, it goes against this idea that Jesus took time to rest and that rest is required for us to restore, to renew, to recover, and to reconnect.

And it's just easier just to get the work done.

We're going to talk about that today.

There is a law.

I love the laws.

There's a law called the law of Rhythm and Rest, and basically what it states is that the Lord created cycles for us, and those cycles include intentional periods of rest and honoring our limitations.

Rest is essential for renewing our strength, our capacity, our connection, all of those things.

And we see that in the creation. There were the six days the Lord created, and on the 7th day he rested.

If God took time to rest and he's God after he had created something big and after he'd worked really hard, what makes us think that we don't have to or that we don't have time to?

That's so interesting.

So let's drop right into the scriptures and let's go look at how the Savior showed up and how he set boundaries, first of all, with himself so that he had the capacity to serve and help at a deeper and greater level.

We're going to start in Mark chapter 4.

This is a famous story that you're all familiar with.

This is the story of Jesus asleep on the boat.

Now, if you go look at the verses, you'll see a really interesting phrase it says, "and the boat was full."

So I want you to imagine this scenario.

These disciples are also sailors.

They are familiar with being out on a boat.

They're familiar with the storm and it's the middle of the night and they have been bailing water.

The boat is literally full of water and they're literally bailing water out of the boat and trying to get it from sinking.

This is a crisis situation and they're in a panic and the Savior's asleep on a boat.

How is this possible?

Our first thought is, OK, well, if Jesus can save and fix anything, why isn't he just jumping in and doing something about this?

I think one of the first lessons from this story is that just because somebody's in crisis doesn't mean it's our job to jump in and fix it.

Save them from it or do something without them even asking for help.

How many times do you just jump in and they never even ask you for help anyway?

You just see a problem.

You're like, oh, got to fix that problem.

We kind of need to let go of that and recognize that when we take action, it's based on the Holy Ghost and what the Holy Ghost is telling us, not based on when we see a problem and want to fix it so we can feel safe. 

So Jesus is asleep.

Why is he asleep?

Well, probably because he had a really busy day and he was tired and he understood this law of rest and rhythm that for him to have the capacity to do the work that he was called to do and fulfill his purpose, he needed to rest first.

His human body had limitations, and so do ours.

So He was resting.

The disciples  try to fix it themselves.

And when they couldn't, they asked for help.

Immediately the Savior jumped in, calmed the storm, and he solved the problem.

But He goes on to teach the disciples this whole idea of rest.

And in in Mark chapter 6, just a couple of chapters later, He says something really interesting.

In Mark 631, He said this,  "come ye yourselves apart into a desert place and rest a while."

For there were many comings and goings and they had no leisure so much as to eat basically what the disciples were so inundated with people and purpose and work that they didn't even have time to eat.

And the Savior solution to that wasn't will work harder or go faster.

 

His solution was stop and go rest.

That is something that we all need to do more of in our lives.

Stop and go rest.

I want to share another story from the scriptures because there's so many great ones in first Kings chapter 19 is the story of Elijah.

There are several prophets that we can read about that got so discouraged by their work and how hard it was that they literally said to God, just kill me now I'm done.

Moses is one of them, Elijah is another and we're going to catch up with Elijah in this story.

He's been kicked out of the city that he's been preaching the gospel in because they want to kill him and they don't want to have anything to do with his message.

And so they've kicked him out and he is upset.

He's mad, he's discouraged.

Well, let me just read it to you.

We're going to start in verse four of First Kings.

I believe it's chapter 19, but it might be 18.

It says, "But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a juniper tree, and he requested for himself that he might die and said it is enough now, O Lord, take away my life, for I'm no better than my father's."

I think we can all relate to this complete discouragement.

I can just see Elijah stomping out of town and marching along and then plopping himself under a  tree and saying, I quit, I've had enough.

I'm not doing this anymore.

Then falls asleep under the juniper tree.

When he does, an Angel comes and bakes a cake for him, wakes him up, gives him something to drink, and gives him the cake.

Then he eats and drinks and he goes back to sleep.

The Angel wakes him up again a second time and touched him and said, "arise and eat because the journey is too great for thee.

And he arose and did eat and and drink and went in the strength of that meat, 40 days and 40 nights until the into the mouth of God."

This is such a relatable story, just even in the fact that sometimes we get so busy doing for other people or being so busy and in a hurry we don't even take time to eat and then we're grumpy and tired.

But I love what this teaches us about our Heavenly Father and our Savior and and what they're willing to do for us if we will stop long enough to rest.

Can you imagine what would have happened if if Elijah had not stopped under the juniper tree and he just kept on stomping on like a martyr?

I'm the only one who can do this.

I hate this so bad and nothing I ever do works.

Not why I'm doing this stupid job anyway.

And just kept on marching along.

He would have missed the opportunity for the Lord to comfort him.

There is a really neat scripture in D&C 98 verse one through 3.

But in the first verse is that that the Savior calls the people his friends.

This is a really pivotal moment in the pioneer times when they were really struggling and they were being abused in so many ways.

The verse says, "let your heart be comforted."

 I've always been baffled by that because I'm like, why do I have to let my heart be comforted?

Just comfort it.

But what I've learned is that the adversary uses hurry and rush and busy to keep us so disconnected from the Lord that we can't feel it when he's trying to comfort us.

Just like Elijah, if he would have been stomping on, he would have never had the opportunity to rest long enough for an Angel to care for him, to minister to him, and to give him the things he needed so he could continue his mission.

How many times are we like that?

In fact, there's another verse of Scripture, it is actually in Isaiah chapter 30 that really speaks to this Isaiah chapter 30, verse 15 and 16.

It's the pattern.

It's another pattern of the Lord saying, look, will you please just stop long enough for me to help you?

It says, "for thus saith the Lord God the Holy One of Israel in returning and rest shall ye be saved in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength, and ye would not."

Oh, I can relate to this so much in verse 16.

But you said no, for we will flee upon horses, therefore shall ye flee, and we will ride upon the swift, therefore shall they pursue you to be swift.

This is so me.

I, the Lord has been telling me for years and years, Julie, you have to slow down.

You have to rest.

And I didn't really start taking it seriously until I was so completely burnt out.

I was so completely overwhelmed that I could barely get out of bed in the morning.

When my kids were little, I have seven of them, we had so much laundry to do that I would wake up at 3:00 in the morning and go laundry.

 I'd start doing laundry at 3:00 in the morning.

And when I started my business and I was just getting it up out of off in the ground, I would get up at 3:00 in the morning and I would work for a couple of hours, go back to sleep, and then get up at six and continue the day.

We have limitations and the law of rest and rhythm teaches us that it's OK to slow down and that in the slowing down is the healing.

Just recently I've been working really hard on doing some healing work for myself and recently the Lord gave me a powerful revelation where he said, Julie, if you're serious about healing, you have to rest.

In the rest is where the space is for you to receive the healing.

We see that with the story of Elijah.

We see that with the Isaiah story, the saying, look, I'm telling you that if you'll rest, that's where you're going to get the healing.

But no, you have to keep running on.

And we see it with the Savior saying to the disciples, I know you're too busy to eat, but let's stop and rest a while.

The first boundary that we need to set with ourselves is with ourselves.

We need to rest because we cannot serve.

We cannot be like Jesus Christ.

We cannot have charity and do all these things and fulfill our mission and purpose if we're just running around like a chicken with our head cut off constantly and overwhelmed because we're afraid to say no to somebody else and we don't feel safe taking time to stop for ourselves.

Rest is required.

There are so many different ways that we can rest and I have, I could talk for days about the ways that we can incorporate rest into our lives.

I highly recommend a book called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.

I'm going to quote from that right now, and I'm just going to share 1 little piece that a pastor from from Oregon shares about how we can slow our lives down so that we can receive.

Because when we slow down, we can reconnect to the laws of the universe, which bring us abundance.

We can reconnect to ourselves.

We can reconnect to feeling the Savior's love.

We can reconnect to the answers that we need to solve the problems that are in our lives.

We can reconnect to peace, and we can reconnect to restoration and energy so that we have the strength to carry on and do the Lord's work.

One of the things that we learn about in this book is to keep the Sabbath day holy.

That is such an old fashioned concept and even those of us who are devoutly religious struggle with resting on the Sabbath day.

He teaches in this book, I'm going to quote, he teaches about the word Sabbath comes from the word, the Hebrew root Shabbat, which means a few things.

It means to stop literally.

He said Sabbath is simply a day to stop, to stop working, to stop wanting to stop worrying, just stop.

It can also mean delight.

It has this dual idea of stopping and also enjoying in God, in our lives, in His world.

Now do you do that on the Sabbath day or is the Sabbath day just another day?

I've got to go to church.

I've got to get this done.

I've got to get this done.

You're catching up on the things that you didn't have time to do over the weekend because you were gone or because you had baseball games or whatever it was.

And, and Sunday just feels like a catch up day.

I know how that feels, for sure.

The Sabbath day is more than just a day of being in the world, a quote.

It's a spirit.

It's a spirit of restfulness that comes from abiding, from living in the Father's loving presence all week long.

And So what the Sabbath day does is it sets up this rhythm for us, the six days we work, and on the 7th day we rest, and on the 7th day we reconnect.

What this creates inside of us is this way of being that is so different than what we're used to, which is this constant hurry and go, go, go, go, go, go.

And in the rest, we heal.

There are so many blessings tied to the love Sabbath.

One of the blessings is financial abundance.

You can read about that in Doctrine and Covenants chapter 59.

But if you're serious about having more abundance in your life, if you're serious about getting more answers from God, if you're serious about healing those weaknesses and challenges and difficulties in your life, if you want to feel God's love more often, then the best way to rest is to keep the Sabbath day holy.

"This is what he said in his book.

The Sabbath is how we feel our souls back up with life.

This God, the one true Creator God, is found not in a place, but in a day.

If you want to go and meet with this God, you don't have to make a pilgrimage to Mecca or Varshinaya."

I can't say that word or to Stonehenge.

Just you have to set aside a day of the week to Shabbat to stop long enough to experience Him.

So I have two questions from this book that can help us to to reconsider how we show up on the Sabbath day.

And 1st, I want to share this quote from Ronald Rothslayer.

He said "true restfulness is a form of awareness of being, a way of being in life.

It is living ordinary life with a sense of ease, gratitude, appreciation, peace, and prayer.

We are restful when ordinary life is enough and we can look at the Sabbath day like a holiday."

When you think about Christmas or you think about Easter, you're very intentional about preparing for it.

You get excited about it, you anticipate it.

That's the attitude we want to go into with the Sabbath.

And here are the two questions that I want you to consider as you prepare for the Sabbath day and as you learn this rhythm of resting this this way of being so that we can reconnect to God first.

What could I do for 24 hours that would fill my soul with a deep throbbing joy that would make me spontaneously combust with wonder?

Ah, gratitude and praise.

How could I worship?

I just love that.

That's the second one.

How could I worship?

Is this rest and worship?

That's the question when you think about what you're going to do on the Sabbath day, ask yourself, is this rest and worship?

Is this bringing me joy?

And if it's not, it gets crossed off the list.

Sunday is not an ordinary day.

It's not an every day that we do all the same things we do on regular days.

It's a day set aside and apart.

And it is a beautiful way to practice the Sabbath, to practice the rest.

And so I invite you into that.

I have learned the hard way that when I rest, I receive.

I have learned that it's OK to rest and that I can be safe even when I'm resting.

Its been a long, hard lesson and I'm still learning it.

But most recently I have been practicing just sitting for a few minutes on my couch during the day and just taking time to be still.

And a couple of weeks ago, I was doing that and I sat there and I'm like, OK, Heavenly Father.

I'm here, I'm sitting, I'm listening, I'm resting.

What information do you have for me?

What message do you have for me?

And I was overwhelmingly filled with this idea that I was loved.

The Lord says, Julie, you are so loved.

You have no idea how loved you are.

And then he showed me people in my life that love me.

It was such an overwhelming feeling of peace, connection, and such a healing thing for me considering some of the challenges that I've been through.

It was beautiful.

And just like Elijah being ministered to by the Angel, I would not have had that experience had I not stopped long enough to listen to what the Lord was telling me.

In the resting, we create because we're connected and we have so many beautiful things we can create in this world.

And there's so many laws at the universe that teaches that we can have anything we want in the world.

We do that by creation.

We create when we're connected, and we get connected when we're resting.

And so I invite you into that.

I invite you to be brave, to trust the Lord enough.

It takes a tremendous amount of faith and trust to stop and to release and let go so that you can rest.

I have two invitations for you.

The 1st is about the Sabbath.

What can I do?

That is, is this rest or worship?

Is this creating tremendous joy?

And if not, set it aside for another day.

Then secondly, I invite you to make a list of all of the ways the Lord has showed up for you, miracles that have happened in your life.

Because as you focus on remembering the miracles that have happened in your life and the way that the Lord has been there for you in the everyday, then that's going to give you the faith that you're that it's going to take for you to slow down long enough to rest and to say no to yourself so that you can restore your energy and your capacity.

So you can do the Lord's work, so you can live your mission and

purpose in life.

So you can feel more peace and joy.

Thank you so much for being here.

If you have loved this podcast, will you share it with somebody else who could benefit from it?

And in the show notes, there will be a link to the three minute boundary fix.

It is it's quick, it's easy, it's free, you just drop your e-mail in.

And then I will give you some very simple steps to set simple boundaries.

Again, thank you so much for being here.