How to have peace when things go wrong

 

 Going to the temple is really hard for me. It's hard for me to sit still. It's hard for me to get answers.

 

 On Saturday, I went to the temple, and the person in front of me had this pukey smelling perfume that made me want to throw up.

 

 The person next to me was cracking their knuckles, which made me want to stab my eyeballs out, and the guy across the way was talking so loud and wouldn't stop talking that I couldn't even think.

 

 As all of these things are happening simultaneously, I began to cry. I thought, why am I even here? It's hard to fill the spirit when you're so frustrated and irritated, and I knew that that was my issue, not theirs.

 

 People are people. They're going to show up the way they're going to show up. But it was a frustrating experience for me.

 

 Then, you know, I think it's so ironic that I teach people how to find answers in the scriptures. And a lot of the times when I open my scriptures, I don't get answers. I don't feel anything.

 

 Nothing comes. And it's the same thing with church, right? Sometimes we go to church and we're like, why am I even here?

 

 It's hard to go to church. It's not always easy. People don't just go, Oh, I feel the spirit.

 

 This is amazing. It doesn't always happen that way. However, I have had really powerful experiences in the temple, life-changing experiences.

 

 I love, love, love the scriptures because I have found so many answers that have brought me peace and clarity on how to solve the problems in my life.

 

 And there have been moments at church where I have found tremendous peace and hope to carry on for the next week or to work through some of the challenges that I was facing. The challenge we have, though, is when we expect things to go a certain way.

 

Just because they don't go a certain way, the way we expect, doesn't mean there's something wrong with us, doesn't mean there's something wrong with the situation, or doesn't even mean there's something wrong with God.

 

 Like if I went with an open heart and was praying for an answer in the temple, why didn't I get the answer I was looking for? Am I not righteous enough? Does God not love me enough?

 

 Was he busy with somebody else that day? Do you see how all of these thoughts can cause a tremendous amount of pain? I want you to think about as we go through today's episode, what are you expecting?

 

 Or what do you think should be a certain way? And how is that causing you pain? The law of non-resistance states that whatever you resist persists.

 

 One way that that shows up for us is we expect things or people to be a certain way, or we expect to get a certain outcome. To have peace in our lives, we must let go of the shoulds.

 

 He should, she should, I should, God should, the situation should, it should or it shouldn't, like, they shouldn't do that. They shouldn't say that. It shouldn't be like that.

 

 God should answer all my questions anytime I go to the temple. When I read the scriptures, I should always feel peace and get clear answers to my problems. My spouse should or shouldn't fill in the blank.

 

 My child should or shouldn't fill in the blank. These expectations that show up like shoulds are resistance, and they create a tremendous amount of pain for us in our lives. Resistance is, it's not supposed to be like this.

 

 The law of non-resistance is all about accepting what is, about letting go of the need to fix or change or make something better outside of ourselves. Are you getting, right? Is that causing some controversy for you?

 

 Are you going, but wait a minute here. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

 

 Now, this doesn't mean that we just throw up our hands. We just go, whatever, whatever. I'm helpless.

 

 I'm powerless. There's nothing I should do. I just need to let everything just be the way it is.

 

 That's not what I'm saying. That's not what I'm saying at all. Eckhart Tolle said in his book, The Power of Now, he said, to surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life.

 

 We still need to take steps, but we take steps based on inspired action, not on what we think should happen. Raymond Holliwell teaches this in a very beautiful metaphor.

 

 He talks about in his book called Working the Law, he talks about if you had a stream, a stream coming down from the mountains, and it's this little stream of water, and it's coming down from the mountain, and it comes across this big boulder in the

 

 middle of the way. Now, does a stream stop the water and halt and go, oops, stop, we cannot go down this, we cannot go any further until we move this big boulder out of the way, and then we can continue along.

 

 No, the stream of water just goes around the rock, and the more it goes around the rocks, and the more it goes, the more momentum it gathers, and the stronger and wider and bigger it becomes.

 

 Stopping at every obstacle doesn't solve and fix all of our problems, or focusing on the obstacle doesn't always stop or fix our problems.

 

 I know, I can hear you in your mind go, but wait a minute, Julie, we have to focus on the problems, or how are we going to fix them?

 

 Yes, and that's where we come in, and we find out what inspired action we need to take by what the Lord is telling us to do, and we take that one step at a time. Let's go into the scriptures and see what the scriptures are teaching us about this.

 

 I want to start with the story from Daniel chapter 3 and it's Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Now, Nebuchadnezzar was the bad guy.

 

 He was the king, and what he did was he wanted Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to worship his golden idols, and they believed in God and they refused.

 

 And when they refused, he said, Well, either you worship my idols or I am going to throw you into the fiery furnace, and you can burn to death. And he goes, and what God is going to save you? You know, where's your God?

 

 Is he going to save you? And they had a beautiful response to him. This is what they said.

 

 They said, If it so be that you cast us into the furnace, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fire furnace, and he will deliver us out of thy hand.

 

 But if not, we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou has set up.

 

 This is a true statement of faith because they're saying, even if God doesn't save us, even if God doesn't do things the way we want him to, even if our expectations aren't met, we will still serve God. Dennis E.

 

 Simmons, from his talk, but if not, had a beautiful quote about this. He said, They knew that they could trust God even if things didn't turn out the way they hoped.

 

 They knew that faith is more than mental assent, more than acknowledgement that God lives. Faith is total trust in him. Side note, that's the opposite of resistance.

 

 Faith is believing that although we do not understand all things, he does. Faith is knowing that although our power is limited, his is not. Faith in Jesus Christ consists of complete reliance on him.

 

 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego knew that they could always rely on him because they knew his plan. They knew that he does not change. They knew as we know, that mortality is not an accident of nature.

 

 It is a brief segment of a great plan of our loving Heavenly Father makes possible for us, his sons and daughters to achieve the same blessings he enjoys if we are willing. I love that.

 

 The way we find peace is in surrendering through faith in Jesus Christ and recognizing that there's a plan, just like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. God didn't prevent them from being thrown into the fiery furnace.

 

 He doesn't always take away all our problems. He doesn't always take away all of our pains, no matter how much faith we have.

 

 Because sometimes faith is believing in God when he doesn't give us the answers that we want or solve our problems in the way that we wish, or that when we go to the temple, we automatically get the answer that we were praying for, or every time we

 

 open the scriptures, we get what we're looking for. Let's go back to the story.

 

 So in Daniel chapter 3 and verses 23 and 24, I really want to set this up for you because this made King Nebuchadnezzar so mad that he had all of his people just stock that furnace full. He had it heated seven times hotter than normal.

 

 And it was so hot that the people who were stocking the fire, who were putting the wood, the fuel into it, they burned up. It was like Raiders of the Lost Ark, when all the people's faces melt.

 

 These people were literally melting outside of the furnace because it was so hot. And then he makes Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego put on coats and layers and hats, then he shoves them into the fire. This is where it's really interesting.

 

 In verses 23 and 24. And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, fell down bound. He even tied them up.

 

 Bound in the midst of the fiery furnace. Then Nebuchadnezzar, the king, was astonished. And he rose up in haste, and he spake, and he said to his counselors, Did not we cast three men bound into the midst of the fire?

 

 And they answered and said to the king, True, O King. And he answered and said, Lo, I see four men loose, walking in the midst of fire, and they have no hurt. And the form of the fourth is like the son of God.

 

 God may not take away our trials and our heartaches, but he will be with us in the midst of them.

 

 We can have faith in our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ, not because they make all the pain go away or because they always give us the answer we're looking for or they always give us the solution that we know is what's best, but because

 

 God will never leave us, because He will always be with us, because He has a plan, because He has a way through, He has something figured out for us. And as we let go of our expectations and our shoulds of what we think it should look like or how we

 

 think it should go, it opens us up to feeling his love and receiving his peace. Where in your life do you need to let go of the outcome?

 

 Can you trade your expectations, your shoulds, it's not supposed to be like this for faith in the Lord Jesus Christ? He knows what he's doing. He won't let you down.

 

 He will be with you. In conclusion, I'd like to share one of my very, very favorite scriptures. It's in Doctrine and Covenants 98, verses one through three.

 

 And just as a preface, the members of the church, Joseph Smith was in Liberty Jail. The people were being thrown out of their houses in the snow. Their houses were being burned down.

 

 They were leaving bloody footprints across the snow. This was a horrific and very extremely challenging time for them. They didn't know where they were going to go.

 

 They didn't know what was going to happen to their prophet. They didn't have food. They were cold.

 

 They were hungry. All of these things. And this is how the Lord responded to them in their most desperate need.

 

 He said, Verily, I say to you, my friends, fear not. Let your heart be comforted. I love the word let because sometimes our resistance blocks us from letting God comfort us.

 

 No, it's not supposed to be like this. No, this isn't the way my prayer supposed to be answered. No, no, no, this is not the answer I was looking for.

 

 That will block the comfort God wants you to have. Here we go. Let me start again.

 

 Verily, I say to you, my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted. Yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything, give thanks.

 

 Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabbath and are recorded with this seal in Testament. The Lord has sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.

 

 He's promising that he is going to hear and answer your prayers.

 

 Therefore, he gives this promise unto you, and with an immutable covenant, that they shall be fulfilled, and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and for my name's glory, saith the Lord.

 

 I promise you that as you let go of the resistance, as you let go of the expectations, that it should look a certain way, that the answer should feel a certain way, that God should talk to you in a certain way, that the solutions should look a

 

 certain way, or that you shouldn't have to struggle, suffer, or that your family shouldn't be in the pain or the struggling that they're suffering with. As you let go of those shoulds and expectations, it will make it easier for you to feel the peace

 

 that your father in heaven wants you to have. Peace comes as we let go of resistance, and resistance, letting go of resistance happens when we accept what is, when we accept that the Lord has a plan and we choose to trust and have faith in him, even

 

 in the but, if nots. God is so good, and he will help you. Thank you so much for being here today. Please share this with somebody who you know needs to hear this.

  

 Again, thank you so much for being here. I hope you have an awesome day.